Reading always inspires me to write. Something about seeing someone else’s words becoming known make me want to make mine known.
Today is my last day being 21.
It has been the best year of life so far. I cannot describe everything in the detail it deserves, but every moment was precious and if I didn’t live another day it would be all worth it. I’ve learned that once God gives you something, you don’t get to choose something different. It’s the cross you bear, and the life you were blessed with. You can fight it and be depressed that it isn’t what you wanted but ultimately, it’s whats best for you. This may have been the best lesson I’ll ever learn, and I’m happy with that. Everything is exactly how it should be. I know that because I’m saying this that something big is going to happen to make me question that. So, I’m ready for the next big thing. It won’t be through my power or strength that I get through it either, but Christ who will be there with me every step of the way.
Goodbye 21, you were a blast <3
Also, Jordan Cherie Reinman, we met this year. You da best.
I discovered I had a knack for doing this while in my first semester of bible college. It all starts with my love for shell hunting. Yes, hunting for shells. Swimming is great fun and all but the thrill of searching for beautifully hidden, tiny treasures is exhilarating. To most people shells are nice but you can pick them up in any souvenir store, and this is true. But do you really want things that you didn’t go on an adventure for? That’s just not how I roll.
A lot of it probably has to do with my parents. Both world travelers, they always bring back something unique. I remember this beautiful and massive conch shell my mom got in Haiti. I would put it up to my ear as a little girl and listen to the ocean. Dreaming of one day living on an island. Sadly that shell was stolen by some “friends” of ours and I never saw it again. My love for things from the sea never went away. Living in orange county the beach has been a big part of my life and I have found an awesome collection of heart shaped rocks and sea glass. Not so much shells as there isn’t too much going on in our waters that the birds haven’t already destroyed. Moving to Hawaii fixed my lack of shell problem right up.
All shores of Kauai have shells on them. Different sides and shores store different kinds. The west side has a lot of rose colored shells while the north shore carries tiny, tiny Ni’ihau shells. If you want the infamous “sunrise shell” you have to go diving, or pay big bucks at a jewelry store. I have collected my fair share of shells over the years, not just to look at either. I had a purpose.
I first learned how to wrap shells at a friends house in Kauai. A few of my friends all got into making shell jewelry and I wanted to give it a shot. It wasn’t easy but with practice I finally got the hang of it and was able to produce some decent and gift worthy pieces. So that is my hobby. I like to make jewelry :) Real exciting, I know right?
I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord. – Hosea 2:20
This past fall I started to read the book of Hosea, for those who don’t know, that is a book in the Old Testament of the Bible. Hosea is considered a “minor prophet”, that just means the book is short. Though it is the longest of the minor prophets. The story of Hosea is that of redemption. God instructs Hosea to marry a particular woman, who would later leave him for harlotry. Romantic eh? Well the story goes that Hosea is to bring his wayward wife back to him to be his again. He is called to forgive and love her regardless. It is a parallel of God’s love for us. No matter what we do, He is always, always there to call us to be His again.
Reading this book, fed my soul so much over this past semester. It encouraged me to keep loving anyone who had hurt me. Loving through hardship It’s not easy. Actually, it’s close to the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I truly did not believe I could do this, seemingly impossible task. Around this time I learned, what was going on in my life was exactly what I had asked for.
No, I didn’t ask for the situations, in fact I prayed against it. What I did ask for was to reflect Christ. What I did ask for was grace to do His will. You think those things just come upon you? Not often if they do, it’s something I had to learn. So He taught me how to love and how to give and receive grace. Doing that He showed me, this is what He does for me. He allows me to come back to Him after I’ve insulted His plan or rebelled against His will. He is faithful to love me, and never leave me. Not only is He faithful to always love, but He is faithful to provide everything we need when we need it. I kid you not right before writing this I was in need of a friend, not a moment later He provided one. He hears our prayers. <3
I love the Hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness” by Thomas O. Chisholm. These words are true, and I can’t forget it.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
Like anyone else, I go through heartbreak. I try and try to make or pray for something to work out the way I want it and when it doesn’t, better grab a box, or 2 of tissues. When I was little my heart broke over moving across the country to California and loosing my cat to cancer. Leaving the place I’d always known to go somewhere to people I didn’t. Now, the thought of leaving home to somewhere I don’t know is exciting, still a tad bit scary.
Lately, the concentration of my heartbreak has been with my relationships. My last one, was unlike anything I’ve ever known. It’s been especially difficult to get over, not because it was so real & amazing but because I obeyed the Lord in
everything almost everything I did. Why it turned out the way it did I’ll probably never know. Scars remind us where we came from, not where we’re going. I’d like to say this is true but in my experience it isn’t always. Sometimes the Lord allows the wound to open up, to get us going in the right direction again.
I can’t heal myself. I try and try and try to but I will always come back to the Lord in worse shape. So this time I’m not going to try. I am going to hold on to the mighty words of God and run the race He’s given me. I am guaranteed to fall and get hurt.
“and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. ” – Romans 8:17
I refuse to let myself allow
one any person’s actions change the direction of my life. It isn’t fair to myself or the person choosing a different course. I have only love for this person, and I won’t make any room for hate or much anger. So what then do I do with the sadness?
“ For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.” Isaiah 54:10
“9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering xwith joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”
“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” – Genesis 50:20
I’ve got too much to do to spend much time being sad. Rejection sucks and feeling abandoned isn’t anything to be desired, that doesn’t mean it’s true. That doesn’t mean that right around the corner there isn’t something amazing. Just around the river-bend, you’re all Disney kids you know what I’m talking about. We don’t give up until Jesus comes and gets us.
Read Psalm 147. It’s going to take time, but I know His faithfulness.
On Saturday my good friend Brad, who works for a movie theatre, and I went to see Les Misérable. Now a couple years ago I was invited by my small group leader’s wife and a friend to see it in play at a local high school. I’m no beginner when it comes to musicals, or music for that matter, and for a high school it was beyond amazing. I fell in love with the story and the music. The same year PBS aired the 25th anniversary of Les Mis in concert, and anytime it came on I was glued. It was a rough time and On My Own became the song I would sing when no one was around. The sadness and honesty behind it was overwhelming, and the melody and arrangement just further tells the story of Eponine.
Flash forward to now and ironically I still sing it when I’m alone, but this time with understanding. If you haven’t seen the movie or read the book, you need to. Your way of looking at people and love is at risk of changing. That’s a good thing.
Christ loves us in the same way. Without anything in return, without request, and with all the fierceness in the universe. He is my example on how I am to love others. It has been the hardest thing to do but has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’ve gotten a glimpse of how He loves others, I see what He sees in them through love.”Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John4:11
Don’t be afraid to love,” there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear involves torment.” (-1john 4:18 ) even if you get shut out and barred just remember how many times we’ve done that to God. Yet he is faithful to always be there. Love like Him.
The movie was fantastic, but we had to sit in the 4th row cause we were a bit late. This is how close we were, idk if you can tell. It was like I was IN the movie, it was awesome. Go see it!
Well it certainly has been a long time since I’ve written anything. After reading a couple blogs recently, I remembered, hey I have one of these! I am currently on Christmas break from bible college and I have a ton of free time, so why not try again.